Going: kuh-ray-zee

I have a child.

I have a child that doesn't like to work.

I have a child that can't deal with things NOT going exactly the way THEY want them to.

We're talking a stereotypical drama-queen meltdown meets stereotypical toddler tantrum. Over e.v.e.r.y. l.i.t.t.l.e. t.h.i.n.g.

Over lessonwork. Over household responsibilities. Over the consequences that result from choices made.

It's driving me insane. I have very little patience for it. Especially when the selective hearing kicks into high-gear and directions are being ignored. The meltdowns. The foot-dragging lolly-gagging. The impulsive lying. The lack of respect for their belongings, for things not belonging to them, for the house, the habitat. For the stealing--my drinks, my snacks....they have their own, why do they need to steal mine?? I can't eat theirs! There are days that I think I never should have become a parent--I'm raising asses instead of decent humans apparently. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot??

I had a random conversation with an acquaintance whose kids are grown--she said these phenomenal outbursts tend to occur when a kiddo has no sense of personal identity.

That idea holds some validity for me. And it calls my attention to how I react; as well as an undercurrent for me--this child looks like my father. I always joked that if I didn't know better I'd swear this was my sister's child. But then she's a spitting image of our paternal grandmother. The striking resemblance between my child and my father was consciously realized during my last visit to a favorite aunt and I saw pics from his childhood.

This is a man whose funeral I attended ONLY because somebody else flew me there. And I still have difficulty understanding why people were praising him. Yeah, some feel you ought not speak ill of the dead, but that doesn't translate into praising an asshole.

Obviously I have "daddy issues." They've been having a negative impact on my life. And I'm not sure how much they're impacting my parenting. Oh, and my husband? He says he had the same outbursts when he was a kid. So this means there's hope? The child may see their next birthday without being strung up by their toes?

We'll see...
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